What’s Your Blind Spot?

I began the year with a strong sense of dissatisfaction about where I was headed in life. Despite having worked hard to “follow my passion” of earning a living from my creativity, I was failing miserably.

The starving artist label continued to haunt me.

I took up a new job to keep from staying broke. I did enjoy it and learn a lot from it, but it still felt like a step backward because it left no time for all my other creative pursuits.

A health scare in the middle of the year forced me to quit my job and take stock of my disintegrating life, again.

As I reassessed my problems, I began to wonder why I have always had so much trouble making and holding onto money, when I did have marketable skills and lived a fairly frugal life.

Why then did getting on top of my finances seem like such an uphill task?

Wrapped up in resistance

A lot of soul searching later, I came to the conclusion that my whole attitude toward money was defining its attitude toward me. I know, any self-help blog on money could have told me that. But somehow the answers that come from within seem more profound and valuable.

Anyway, I noticed that I have always placed creative satisfaction ahead of financial security on my list of priorities.

Beyond the money required for basic necessities, I have resisted having much to do with it, choosing to overlook anything that had the word finance in it. I did save money, but eventually let it slip through my fingers, because other things that helped further my creative interests seemed more important at the time.

I realized that most of the time I treated money as a luxury because, like many other people, I considered it dirty and did not want it at the cost of what I thought were nobler values.

At the other end of the spectrum from me, there are those who sideline the nurturing of their self in their quest to accumulate wealth.

Are you doing the same in your life? I’m not talking about money here. Are you focusing on one aspect of your life and ignoring the others or handling them half-heartedly? Isn’t it possible that you’re being unfair to yourself?

Ideas and values that you feel are beneath your time and attention often turn into blind spots, which is what happened with me, and reenter your life disguised as problems.

Getting your priorities right is one thing, but prioritizing based on lifelong assumptions or misconceptions is totally different.

A conflict between any of your values need not culminate in a right-versus-wrong inner battle for the rest of your life. After all, how can a choice between something that nourishes your body and something that nourishes your soul be considered fair?

You can feel complete as a person only when all three—your body, mind, and soul—are in harmony. Neglecting one to take care of another, as I was doing, is not the solution. Finding a happy medium is.

Since that epiphany, I have been working on eliminating my negative beliefs about money and crafting a financially stable future. It has not been easy so far, given that I’m trying to reverse self-conditioning that I have indulged in for years. I still have a long, long way to go, but I’m getting there, slowly.

What are you ignoring?

Look at what you have been shying away from. It could hold the answers to many of the problems you’re facing right now.

Be cruel to be kind and force those sensitive issues out in the open, so that you can process them, come to terms with them, and deal with them effectively. Sooner or later you will find out that they aren’t as hopeless as they appeared inside your head.

When you resist what’s being taught, you end up learning it the hard way. But even if that’s the case with you, don’t despair, because it is the lesson you need to learn the most.

If you learn the lesson well, you need to learn it only once.

Undustrial Revolution - The Writings of Akshata
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